


The Domino Effect

by Pinx_B (orphan_account)



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Future Fic, Introspection, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 10:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8529013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Pinx_B
Summary: The connection of consequences run deeper than most assume..





	

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

There is nothing quiet as dangerous as words Maki thinks to herself. Sure, they don't physically leave a mark on ones body or can manually make a person bleed but that's why they were more frightening.

Words had the power to make anyone succumb to certain charms, words could paint the foundation of a persons views, words could capture the coldest of hearts; the power of words were immediate.

It is with words that friendships have ended; wars have been started, lives have been lost, happiness has been stolen, relationships have disintegrated.

The sentiments of the pen being mightier than the sword could not have rung more accurate for Maki.

 

 _"With every single line she uttered to me, I followed them as they poured out of her mouth"_   Maki mused as she looked out of the car window.

It was by a mere coincidence that she would end up there at that very moment of time. A cruel coincidence to remind her how foolishly she was blinded by words from someone that supposedly loved the very air she breathed in. But words were capable of that and now she knew just how badly they worked.

Several years had passed but the doctor could recall every single conversation that had transpired between the two of them, especially the one that had tore down the remnants of her guarded aura. She was a brick wall with her emotions; only displaying them for patients but to anyone else, she was simply just there, unreadable and undeterred by feelings and all things of that nature.

So when she crossed paths with the sledgehammer that would break the walls down, Maki could only watch and let her through.

_"Maki-chan, listen, I really do love you and you won't have to worry about anything with me okay? I know you're a pain and took way too long for you to accept how right for you I am but I can let that pass since I'm crazy about you. What I'm trying to say is that I'm glad you decided to go out with me you know, you won't regret it. Nico goes for the best of the best so it's a good thing we bumped into each other outside of your hospital that day. I've changed a bit from school, obviously taller as you can see! You're definitely perfect for me and I'm going to spend every moment showing you that okay? I love you"._

Maki scoffed at the words that Nico had said to her and how opposite they turned out to be. Apparently the shorter woman was capable of having all those feelings, except not for her. She was a master of manipulation to be able to make her fall for her with such ease and the redhead internally shuddered.

_"Hook, line and sinker"._

Even to this day when thinking back at the way Nico had spun webs around her, it marvelled Maki to know the extent of how devious & misleading Nico's words were but for so long she didn't want to believe that, she didn't want to believe that Nico would take her for a ride like that.

Surely nobody would be that cruel?.

To make someone open up their heart, place it on their sleeve and then just rip it to shreds only to leave.

Nico wouldn't do that.

_"But she did. Even now I can't bring myself to love another like I loved her but she can"._

 

She wondered had Nico spoken the same words to the woman she was currently sat with as she watched them. Or on in this case.

It had to be Nozomi, out of every person in the world, it had to be her. If that wasn't a slap in the face, Maki wasn't sure what was.

 _"I should've seen it coming & I should've known"_  she chided herself at letting what now seemed like an obvious attraction not cross her mind, _"Nozomi was the only one that truly understood Nico and her drive & I tried to match that and be better but it was never enough. It was always Nozomi"._

She wondered if Eli knew.

Out of mere curiosity she had told her driver to stop for her to take a break and to close the centre screen of her car. Any other person or previous lover and Maki wouldn't have paid heed, simply going about her day but it was something about the first person that you would tie your heart to the back of a train for and let it travel the country that you can't help but be intrigued by.

It was the pain that intrigued Maki, the extensive level of it that she felt when Nico had decided to sever the ties between them. Maki hadn't quiet felt anything like it before simply because she never allowed anyone to get close to her other than Nico. She can't even say that she saw it coming really, Nico was that impressive with the way she could reassure her and elevate her worries about their relationships, it was frightening.

_"And what good that did me. The one time I put my heart out , put my trust in someone; they took that opportunity to ruin any positive perception of being with someone"._

She watched on as Nozomi took a strand of Nico's hair and pushed it back whilst inching her face closer. Nico happily leant it and gave access to her lips & Maki couldn't help the scoff that came out of her mouth once again. How perfect it must be for Nico now as she enjoyed a moment of serenity with her whilst sat at a park with a glowing sunset hovering over the skyline.

No remorse, no guilt, not a trace of anything she had shared with her and it made Maki's stomach turn.

She always wondered how a person could claim to need and love only one person, to kiss and touch them, to let them inside places that no one else could reach and then all of a sudden do those exact same things with another. It baffled Maki because she herself couldn't do that the way Nico was doing, without thinking of her whenever she touched someone else. Yet here Nico was, her hands tangled in the Nozomi's purple hair, her mouth covering every inch of hers and her body pressed tight against hers.

_"Was it really that easy to forget me? Is it that easy to touch her the way you used to touch me?"._

Apparently actions do speak louder than words when Nico trailed her fingers down Nozomi neck, her lips following the trail.

_"Maki-chan, trust me okay? Don't hold back with how you feel, I want to hear you feeling good so just let it go. Nobody else can touch you here, you're mine. Only I can kiss every inch of you; just like I'm doing now, only I can make you moan like this, just me. Keep going Maki, you're almost there so don't hold back from the way I'm loving you, keep going. You're going to feel this good for the rest of your life because you're with me. My lips were meant to kiss you everywhere & your body fits perfectly against mind, you see? Of course you do, you're smart like that. I love you Maki-chan"._

Maki swallowed hard as the memories filtered against her mind, playing every scene she and Nico had made together, doing the very thing she was doing with her. Each clip dug at her and she could still feel Nico's lips pressing against her own, her body rocking against hers, her hands covering her skin, soothing her and cherishing her; making Maki wished she could tear those memories apart.

Even if forgetting Nico would hurt, it couldn't possibly hurt more than it was now knowing she still existed.

 

What a cruel reminder for how people can be the pinnacle of deception.

Was it that meaningless these days?.

Was commitment a curse?.

Was having a connection to someone that could never be broken be non existent these days?.

Was calling it quits that simple when feelings were involved?.

Her hands clutched the side of the door, her jaws tightened as the bitterness fuelled her anger. Nico was unscathed by the events, leaving Maki to simmer in the aftermath of it.

There is always one in a relationship that loves more, cares more, puts in more effort, hurts more, suffers more.

_"All that nonsense about 50/50 when in love was an outright lie because there's always one that is just that tiny bit more selfish. One that wouldn't hurt as bad when it was over, one that felt no loss, one that bounced back quickly; they were the usual reason why a relationship fell apart. Nico was the reason"._

Poor Eli she thought.

It was the large smile and overly touchy feely notions she was seeing that Maki felt disgusted by, knowing that it was so easy for her to move on & be with someone else the way she was with her.

It was the fact that Nico retained her ability to love normally whilst she herself couldn't do so without an issue was another stab in the back.

It was witnessing her loving and amorous behaviour with Nozomi and the way she reciprocated those sentiments that made Maki want to put them both in hospital.

_"She left me, after all that grandiose talk about me being the perfect one for her, ensuring me that she wanted to spend her life with me and yet, Nico managed to start fresh with literally no doubts it seemed"._

The redhead could never forget the night her world came crashing down by the same woman who helped build it up. Nothing could've prepared her for the feeling of utter betrayal and disappointment when Nico casually ended it with her. Again, spinning her words so cleverly to make it seem like she was doing them both a favour and that Maki had been something she thought she needed but didn't really.

_"Maki-chan listen, I don't think this is working out. No, no you didn't do anything wrong, it's just that I..I don't really see this going anywhere, we are both too different from each other and I'm sure you can see that too! Oh, you don't? Well I don't feel what I felt when we first met so please don't take it personally, I'm sure someone better is waiting for you. I know I said all that and I do love you but maybe just as friend? I'm really sorry Maki-chan, we had a good run & it was fun but it's best we call it an end now. Don't cry, these things happen, I can't really help it but I'm sure you'll be fine. Goodbye Maki"._

And that moment would define how Maki saw those that tried to get close to her. Never again would she make the same mistake twice, that wasn't how sure worked so she kept herself at arms length from all things that required a strong emotional tie.

Any further relationships were strictly formed out of a physical nature, no strings attached, nothing that could drag her down and walk all over her like Nico had done. She felt crippled as each word Nico said about them not being the same, her not feeling that spark anymore and how they should look to be others were etched into Maki's head; carefully carved out and never to be forgotten.

It became a motto for her in some twisted way, a way of life to live by and what mistakes she should never make again.

Never again would Maki let herself fall for someone on a level that meant she had to reveal her inner mind, or give herself to fully, never would she be another woman's plaything.

_"All I ended up getting from Nico was the after taste of being used and strung along. I could never push it down and maintain a normal relationship with another without the overbearing fear that she would hurt me the way Nico did. I loved her so much, believed every damn word she spouted and all the while, she had already moved on before even ending it"._

People were truly frightening, to have the ability to do things like that.

 

_"And now I know how to be exactly like them too"._

Maki sighed as the woman who was resting on her lap stirred awake. She had an endless stream of energy that Maki enjoyed on another one of their dates and knew the ginger haired woman would easily pass out on their way home.

She looked down at her, taking in the sleeping face that emitted her youth and contagious personality that had attracted her even if Maki knew it'd never be anything real.

_"Because Honoka is just one of many, she will never know that. I can't surrender myself to her wholly because I'm scared she'll be another Nico. It scares me that I want Honoka to be like her because that way, when she does leave me it'll be predictable and won't burn as much but she isn't Nico. She's..honest, I can't love her because she is honest, I only know how to love women like Nico, I'm sorry"._

And Honoka was never Nico. She was the sweet, loving friend that saw through Maki's façade when in school & she saw it again when Maki called her whilst in bits.

She held the redhead when she was hurting after Nico ended it, she made sure Maki wasn't neglecting her health, she made sure that she always went to sleep with a smile on her face and no tears in her eyes.

_"I thought Honoka could replace her & remove her from my mind"._

She moved some of the ginger locks away from Honoka's face, it felt soft against her fingers, just like she was.

But Maki could never get used to the sensation of loving a person like Honoka because she didn't love her, not like she still loved Nico and the way their gritty, heated & colliding relationship was.

The redhead didn't know how to love someone like Honoka after years of with someone with bite like Nico, everything else felt alien to her which was another reason why she didn't form any attachments with others.

_"I wonder if she can feel the lies when I touch her"._

Maki ran her fingers over Honoka's glowing face, the warm skin and the tender blue eyes that fluttered open still not enough to chip away the ice that Nico had covered her heart in.

_"I wonder if she knows that I'm going to hurt her so bad, that I'm going to destroy any thought of love being positive"._

She smiled down at Honoka when she kissed her fingertips that had trailed over her lips.

_"I'm so sorry, I truly am. If you know that I can't love you like I loved her, leave me please, I'm going to hurt you so much"._

She couldn't move her gaze from the face of the woman laying on her, she was perfect, kind, warm and loving.

But she wasn't Nico.

_"Go, please Honoka, before I do to you what she did to me because that's the only way I know. I hope you forgive me when I rip apart your emotions and love that you have for me because I..I can't feel it for you"._

She tells Maki she loves her and the words pour like acid through her ears because of how honest they are, how much Honoka truly means it and all Maki can do is give a frozen smile before looking out of the window to where Nico and Nozomi were leaving.

She won't say she loves her back, she never has done because the words sound so empty that it is better for both she doesn't say it.

Maki is sure that Honoka is either too trusting and naïve or a masochist because anyone could see how stiff and forced her so called actions of love are with her and yet she chooses to stay.

But she couldn't criticize the bubbly ginger because she was the same for a woman who was walking away, hand in hand with somebody that wasn't her.

 

That was the lingering effect that broken love had on any person's mind, how powerful and dangerous it could be, damaging enough to distort their entire view on it.

Because once the thought of relationships and love is tainted by reality, there is no going back and it spreads like wildfire to the next.

Every person that is touched by another that has had their trust broken, their emotions tossed away like a disposable cup or been betrayed in a way that could never be fixed will end up on the receiving end of their pain.

Maki understood why now, she understood why people became so bitter and cold when everything they put their all into is crumbled up and turned into nothing.

Honoka would too.

Maybe Nozomi would also understand too, one day.

They'd all understand someday that,

It was her gift.

It was like art.

Not everyone could understand it.

But it was beautifully majestic in its own twisted way.

It was her forte.

To lie was to breath.

To lie was to live.

To lie was to love.

Each lie so finely tuned.

Her weapon was her belief.

Her power was her mask.

Her victim? Her prey? Her mouse?.

How devoid, derailed, derelict & damaged they must be to enjoy her fabricated tales.

_"Enjoy them I did Nico-chan because I'm still living in the bitterness you've covered me with"._

 

It isn't hope that breeds eternal misery...it is people.

 

 


End file.
